Don’t it make my brown eyes blue

I cannot contain myself.  I’ve tried, believe me. But when I read this bizarre news item…well, I had a hissy fit, dummy spit, you name it. I simply cannot believe there are people so dumb, so stupid, so vain as to take such a risk with – in this case – their eyesight.

Aside from one’s health, being able to see is what gives humans pleasure in this world. Being able to gaze on the rich colours and textures of nature. Can you imagine what it would be like if you lost your sight overnight?

Well, it nearly happened to a UK woman by the sounds of it. Read this article, then come back to me. Do you think it’s a hoax? Do you really think anyone would be so reckless with their eyesight that they would willingly undergo an unapproved operation that changes one’s eye colour??

Well, apparently there are some dumb ass people in this world. The woman in the article decided her brown eyes weren’t good enough and wanted them altered to blue. Hello? Has she not heard of coloured contact lenses???? Heck, she could even have tried Hello Kitty! contact lenses.

I don’t wear glasses but when I get old and cranky (about 2 years from now), I’ll be going the contact lens route. I have blue-gray eyes. I would love to have green eyes but yeegads, I would not subject myself to an operation (in some shonky third world country no less) that purports to insert a coloured lens implant inside the eye, over the iris (guess that means the iris is slit open). Here’s a photo of the implant:

The woman travelled to Panama for the op (I also read it was Mexico) and the result of the op was – a hole in one iris and the near loss of her eyesight. And after all the pain and risk, her eyes are still brown!

What I find intriguing is that the woman in question is a single mother of three children. She paid £5,000 for the operation and on top of this had to cough up airfare and accommodation. Unless she is a super-rich single mother, wouldn’t this money have been better spent on her kids? (Actually, I’ve read too she is unemployed).

And then the part that really leaves me shaking my head – she was told NOT to go ahead with the unapproved op by FIVE opticians in the UK. Hello?? If five medico types tell you not to mess around with your eyes, it’s probably a smart move to believe them. 

From what I’ve read, this woman wanted to have “European coloured eyes”.  Last time I looked, Europeans have brown eyes as well as blue, blue-gray and green.  UK surgeons had to operate to remove the implants and she is now likely to develop cataracts in later life and is at increased risk of glaucoma (and does the UK taxpayer have to foot the bill for this restorative operation???).

In what must be the understatement of the century, the UK woman is quoted as saying:  “It was the biggest mistake I have ever made….To think I could have never been able to see my children again. It was totally reckless of me.” Ah, duh!

What can I say? A lot actually – but I’d be up for defamation. So instead here are my golden rules for dumb ass people considering changing their appearance through foolhardy operations:

• be satisfied with what you’ve been given in life – you are unique no matter what size or colour;
• if you see an operation advertised on the internet and it’s in some third world country, might be advisable to switch your computer off; and
• if it involves cutting you up, slicing, dicing, lifting, peeling – then you might just end up with a massive infection and cark it. Is it really worth it, all this vanity?

And for dumb ass people thinking of changing their eye colour from brown to blue – simply listen to the 1977 hit by Crystal Gayle ‘Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue’.